THE ZEBRA IS A SHE-BRA. Does the North Bend ‘stallion’ just want to be free?

Alas.

We’d been dreaming of baby zorses. A zebra on the loose near North Bend, they said, a rogue stallion with a punk rock 'do that would, handsome striped dazzler he was, impregnate the quivering mares in nearby pastures.

Except that … this zebra is a she-bra.

“Contrary to the owner's original statement, the missing zebra is a mare, or female zebra,” Regional Animal Services of King County said in a statement on Thursday. “This has been confirmed by photos from the public that show the zebra wandering in the area near North Bend.”

Z – that’s her name, not very original – hails from Winlock, Washington. On Sunday, she was bound for a petting zoo in Montana, the woman driving the trailer told Washington State Patrol. Z and three other zebras got loose; she is the only one who evaded capture.

Now Z roams free of small hands, eating from hidden dishes that locals have set out, bucking the patriarchy, and hopefully not getting knocked up with a zorse.

North Bend, of "Twin Peaks" show fame, has mobilized. Stay away, they said to outsiders on Thursday, worried that lurking looky-loos may spook Z into the Seattle watershed.

“Too many people are excitedly joining in and actually destroying all chance to capture her,” said Linda Grez of North Bend. “Some even bring unleashed dogs! If she runs off from them, she may be lost forever as there is wilderness on two sides.”

Meanwhile, the sightings continue. Daniel Thimsen, a cook at Twede’s Cafe, said Z chased him down a hiking trail. Thimsen said she looked like “a donkey that lifts weights.” (Not how most women want to be described.)

Minutes after she thundered through, a mountain biker tore down the trail. “Do you know where the zebra went?” the biker asked, according to Thimsen.

Also spotted on a trail camera where Z has been seen: a cougar. (Implication being that Z may be lunch, but equally possible that the cougar smelled the mountain biker.)

For now, She-Bra (Princess of Power; we’ve just renamed her) remains on the lam, somewhere in the thick brush of the Cascade Mountains.

Joshua McNichols contributed reporting.